On Being Gentle With Yourself

A wise woman once told me to picture life as a bicycle wheel. You can either ride around on the tire, up and down and all around, or you can live in the center, where the spokes meet, and see everything from a vantage point of calm.

Ah, if only I could consistently do that, everything would be so much easier.

Today had some very challenging moments. There are some things I seem to encounter over and over again, and each time they kick me in the gut. And then, instead of being kind to myself, I beat myself up for letting them bother me.

I've never really tried meditation seriously, but I do remember a great quote from a workshop I took on how to meditate. The instructor said that everyone expects meditation to be quiet, that the goal is for your mind to be still. And then, of course, when that doesn't happen and the thoughts are running through like racehorses, you feel like you have failed. She said that all you do at that moment is gently bring yourself back. Back to your breath, back to your center. And when it happens again, just do the same thing again. And again. That's meditation. That the stillness, the oneness, the enlightenment, those moments may or may not come. Your job is to show up, and to gently lead yourself back.

That is where I am today. Remembering that I need to be gentle with myself. That sensitivity is a gift, that it makes me human, that it means I have an open heart.

When something kicks you in the gut..breathe, be kind, and gently lead yourself back to center.

Again. And again. And again.

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